Mar 11, 2014

Abbott and Costello Get Caught





BUD
Well Lou, we've had a good run.
LOU
Yes sir, we sure did Abbott.
BUD
Yeah!
LOU
Hey, Abbott?
BUD
What, Lou?
LOU
What are we talking about?
BUD
The Killing's, grabbing all of those beautiful broads.
LOU
I liked that red head, from last week, Bud.
BUD
Yeah! She sure was Lou.. Now the fun's over and the cops know who did all the killings.
LOU
But, Abbott, you said you had it all figured out.
BUD
I do. You remember the talk I had with you, when you wanted to have a girl.
LOU
You said, when there's two people who are serial killers together, one is the domin- doni-
BUD
I'm the dominate one. The boss, you might say, and your the submissive of the two.
LOU
That's the one who does what the dominate one, says to do.
BUD
Now you got it.
LOU
I sure do. You picked out a beautiful girl, and you did your dirty deed on them, Abbott.
BUD
That's right, Lou. Then I would tell you to kill the broad before disposing the body, you would have your way with the lady too.
LOU
But, Abbott. Why is it that I have to wait until they're dead to have my way, with the ladies?
BUD
Now, Lou. Don't you remember the very first one.
LOU
Oh, yeah! I forgot about Sally.
BUD
How could you forget about Sally? After I was finished with her, what did I say to do?
LOU
You said, here go go pal. She's yours now. Sally's all warmed up for you.
BUD
That's right, Lou. I was a nice guy, I warmed Sally up for you, so she'd be nice and ready for you, and you forgot all about her, and what a nice pal I am.
LOU
I'm sorry Abbott. It's just that, when I went to Sally and started to do to her like you did, she started to scream.And she just kept screaming.
BUD
That's right, Lou. So I told you to kill the screaming, so I wouldn't get a headache.
LOU
That's right, Abbott. So I took her bra and tried to stuff in down her throat.
BUD
Yeah! She bit you real hard, for that.
LOU
She hurt my finger, Abbott. It hurt a lot.
BUD
Then I said, do I have to do everything myself. I gotta girl for you and now your complaining about your finger.
LOU
That's right, Abbott. So I put my hand around her throat and I squeezed and squeezed. You know the more I chocked her,the more mad I got, for Sally biting my finger, like that.
BUD
That's right. From that point on, we would grab the dame and I would have my way with her-
LOU
-And then I would kill her. You know, Abbott, after the first few times, I started to like, killing these ladies. I also liked it that when I had my way with them, they didn't talk back.
BUD
So there you go. We got a system going.
LOU
And when they're dead, they don't scream or nothing.
BUD
That's right, Lou. Now the cops are on their way hereto pick you up for all of those murders. Also, the reward is finally high enough to make it worth my while.
LOU
I know, Abbott.
BUD
You know what, Lou?
LOU
I know, I've been a BAD boy!

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